Ray

Inasmuch as I’d provided an extended time for Mary to ‘come to her senses’ while estranged at her parent’s home in Yuma, Arizona; I’d permitted several months for her to consider the magnitude of her actions. Finally, as she appeared to disregard any endeavors on my part to reconcile; I determined that I would commence visiting my children there in Yuma. So, I determined that I would drive the four hours to Yuma one Friday evening after work and re-engage with my children. I figured I could spend Friday night, Saturday and attend church with them that Sunday morning before returning along the same trip that I’d traversed two days earlier.

Drive to see my children in Yuma

Drive

What few (my mother and father only) knew is that I cried almost the entire distance – both directions. I could not avoid the recognition that I was having to undergo the absence of my children from our home in Corona as I endeavored to hold to my faith in their well-being throughout the work weeks of their departure to Yuma. Then, as I travelled along the lonely path to Yuma, I was constantly aware that their trusted mother had duplicitously deceived their trusting souls; and was deviously, spuriously representing me as unrighteous as she represented her own behavior as ‘above question’. Endeavoring to protect their innocent souls from severe, hypocritical behavior caused me to cry out to my Heavenly Father throughout my travels alone to and from Yuma. I’d dry my tears and steel myself against treacherous deceit in order to hearten my children as I spent a couple of days with them and their wide-eyed questioning of the events that dominated their lives. I’d often buy they a milkshake before departing and trusting their souls to my Heavenly Father. I’d then commence my homeward trek – yoked by the knowledge that my previously trusted, covenanted Eternal Companion was engaged in behavior that was grossly unrestrained and disingenuous. Arriving in Corona on Sunday evening; I’d endeavor to get some rest (although sleep came fretfully and agitatedly) prior to resuming work the following Monday. Such trips were genuinely emotionally and spiritually exhausting.

Our Unit in Yuma Motel 6

Sleep

Having decided to re-engage with my children following an extended absence allowing their mother some ‘alone time’ in order to permit serious re-evaluation of her outrageous behavior; I made the lengthy trip to Yuma on a Friday evening. Arriving there after dark; I went to Mary’s home to gather my children at what turned into a brief reunion between them and myself. Inasmuch as I’d pre-arranged my visit; they were prepared with overnight belongings and needs; and we piled into my vehicle following a brief encounter in their mother’s home. We then travelled to the only Motel 6 that I knew in Yuma. (I knew I’d somehow need to managed costs as we endeavored to focus on emotional needs that weekend.) I’d observed its location during the many visits we’d made to Yuma previously along the 95-highway route into Yuma. There in the midst of the I5 intersection in Yuma, I endeavored to re-unite with my beloved children. Inasmuch as I knew I’d not be able to pay the full price of lodging for all of us; I contracted a unit with a single double bed and stealth fully ushered my children into the unit with me. Maintaining a hushed demeanor; we arranged ourselves for a night’s rest in the cramped single room. Inasmuch as Kevin was just an infant; our group consisted of myself, Michael, Grant, Bret, Paul and Lara. I placed my luggage on the single bed along with Lara’s belongings, assuming she and I would occupy the comfort of the bed while there. The boys spread out over the carpeted floor with their blankets and such in order to acquire a place where they might sleep. As I observed their preparations for sleep, I couldn’t help but notice their willingness to subject themselves to a hard floor and annoying conditions in order to spend a modicum of time with their father.  Turning on the TV for distraction and entertainment; we donned our pajamas and settled down for a much-needed rest – because it had grown late by that time. I lay awake that night next to Lara humbled by my children’s valiancy and teary eyed at their quiet devotion. Choking down my humbled sobs (trying to muffle them from Lara’s ears), I fell asleep exhausted. 

Our furnishings for our 1st Yuma night together

Re-Unite

I remember lying in the bed with Lara lying next to me with my boys strewn about the floor as we simply endeavored to re-unite (father with children, children with father) despite the imposition of their mother’s undermining will regarding us all. Her selfish requirement that we all be subjected to her seemingly straightforward demand (disguising subversive, iniquitous legalization) made endurance for me most difficult as I withstood such cleverness amidst the innocence of my devoted and precious children. Once the sounds of their sleep were evident; I dried my muffled tears, turned off the drone of the TV; and drifted off to sleep. Re-united with my children was a genuine blessing I knew I’d remember for a long time!

Touched

As I awoke early the next morning; I quickly realized where I was and my circumstance. I was lying on my back with Lara quietly breathing next to me. Grateful once again for such children, I suddenly realized I was not without others in the small bed of our unit. Rather, as I looked down, I saw that all of my sons had joined with Lara and I in the double bed. More importantly, I perceived that each of my sons was fast asleep next to me. Upon closer examination, I recognized that each of my four sons had climbed into bed during the night hours and snuggled close to my person. I even perceived that older sons had drooped their arms over their brothers in order to touch my person. There I lay awake; as my children had taken it upon themselves to re-attach themselves to their father in a most touching and precious way. Not wanting to disturb the moment (nor them), I lay still for a time (absorbing their righteous association) in quiet, muffled emotion. Their silent righteousness enveloped me in genuine heavenly ambiance; and I may have even tousled the hair of several of them without arousing their slumber. I recognized that I was enjoying the innocent embrace of my children following a difficult and extended absence. Even then, I recognized that I was being blessed with an association few fathers got to have with their beloved children. And I prolonged (as long as I could) the sheer beauty I was being blessed with in an obscure motel unit of an obscure town in an obscure region. My love for my children knew no bounds at that moment and I loved all of them completely and without reservation.

Overwhelmed

As I lay there, having been unceremoniously severed from direct association from my own flesh and blood, I was extremely humbled by their collective devotion.  As the spirit of the moment overwhelmed me, I held back my grateful tears and simply treasured the circumstance!!  Regardless of our collective temporal slight, I thought to myself, “How many fathers get to have such an awe-inspiring moment?”  As I lay there enveloped by the love my children were displaying to me (in their sleep), my devotion to them and their tender hearts grew tenfold and I committed in my heart that I would do whatever I could to protect and preserve them!  As each awoke, we quietly spoke until all were awake; and the excitement of the morning overtook the solemn moments of my time in their midst.  I loved them deeper then than I had ever before!  I loved them then!  I love them now!

The passage of time has not dimmed my love for each of their tender souls!

The Pool we enjoyed together