Ray's Mission III

Public Convenience

I learned rather quickly that, inasmuch as we were far from home, it was necessary for us to locate a public convenience whereby we could relieve ourselves throughout the day. It was not uncommon for us to have to relieve ourselves in the midst of our tracting endeavors; and we didn't want to go too far in order to visit a convenience. Hence, we spent a little bit of time in each area that we transacted to locate a public convenience that we could use during the day. This often was a convenience attached to and provided by an English Pub. There seemed to be an English pub throughout many of the areas we tracted. Perhaps this was due to the large number of people that lived in the area and took advantage of the nearby pub. Often these public conveniences we're simply a Shaq behind the pub with a concrete ditch in which a fellow could relieve himself with a measure of privacy. This was new to me and seemed somewhat coarse; nevertheless, it was rather handy when we needed it! The smell of beer often permeated these facilities. Gratefully, they would be located in a unobtrusive place behind the pub; where few, if any, could observe one entering or leaving the convenience. 

Lunch

We always stopped for 1/2 an hour amidst our tracting in order to take lunch from a nearby bakery shop. Here we would buy a bottle of milk and a lardy cake to munch on during our half-hour lunch break. We would almost always try to find a bench where we could observe passerbys and enjoy our meal. Unfortunately, we were not always able to find nearby places to sit and would take whatever we could to sit and eat. A block wall, a grassy area, a bench in a nearby church cemetery - wherever we could, we would sit and eat our lunch. Sometimes in pleasant weather; other times in the rain. Most times we endeavored to get out of the cold if it was terribly cold in which to eat lunch. I enjoyed the lardy cake which was available in most bakeries and composed of a kind of bread, raisins, and fruit. I found that the contents and amount was sufficient to provide me with lunch and was not too expensive. 

Chippy

When we had a little extra money (which was not very often) we would visit a ‘chippy’ in order to obtain fish and chips. Chippy was a slang word used to refer to a fish and chips shop. They were not very fancy but had especially good fish and chips. We would sometimes stop, order some fish and chips (which was always given to us wrapped in newspaper) and leave with our order under our arms. We would then open up the newspaper with the fish and chips cradled in our palm and eat from the large conglomerate of newspaper. Standing against the wall of the ‘chippy’ it was not entirely uncommon for us to eat our fish and chips in the rain. The chips (actually French fries) were large wedges of potato that accompanied the wedge of fish that came with our order. While there was almost always an offering of 5 or 6 types of fish (cod, skate, sole, haddock, etc.), I almost always chose cod which was particularly delightful to me. 

"L" Plates

I had been informed that I had to have ‘L plates’ on my bicycle for the first six weeks of my mission. This, my senior companion had informed me of in the van as we drove from Southampton train station to Shenley. I figured it was some kind of hazing ritual that was imposed on greenies; but I didn't want to alienate these fellow missionaries and decided to go along with it for a short while. I was proven right later on; and my senior companion was once again identified as one who would take advantage of naivete if he could! He was not a friend nor necessarily anyone to be trusted. What he didn't realize was that I was someone to be trusted even to the point of ridicule imposed by him! Learner plates (L plates) were plastic plates most often pasted on the front and rear bumpers of cars driven by learning drivers. They were distinguishable because they had a big red-letter L and nothing else. I mildly protested that I did not need L plates on my bicycle; but my senior companion adamantly insisted that I comply with English law and attach L plates to the front and rear of my bicycle. I recognized the cat calls and laughter that observers made as I cycled to and from our tracting area. However, I didn't want to alienate my senior companion with a stubborn demand to avoid the ridicule that was occurring as I obediently succumbed to his juvenile behavior! You'd think that he would eventually come clean; but he did not; and continued to require me to have L plates. I'm confident that many were laughing behind my back for a number of weeks during my greenie months! This servant of the Lord foolishly chose to deceitfully impose ridicule and disdain upon the very missionary he was called upon to mentor and tutor during the vulnerable months of his introduction to service in the Lord’s kingdom. He did not foster allegiance nor trustworthiness!  One could easily ask the question of him, “Was it worth it?” as I continued to protest this Tom foolery, elder Hansen eventually weakened and to culminate the offense he required me to take a test in order to remove my L plates. This he did by enlisting the help of a board member who played the part of and authorized official. I complied good naturedly but thought elder Hansen was not worthy of my alliance! 

Disreputable Woman

One morning as we tracked along in the jungle, we approached a door which was my door and we unceremoniously knocked on the door awaiting an answer. I had been taught to stand near the door so that an individual might be prompted to invite us in. I was doing so with my senior companion directly behind me at this door. A woman in her robe answered the door. It was customary for someone to answer the door in a robe because it was still mourning. She was about my height and in her middle 30s. I stood there presenting as best I could my door approach and realized very quickly that she was a woman of ill repute (a street Walker). I was about a foot in front of her and she leaned against the doorway indelicately.  Seeing that she was not attempting to hide what kind of woman she was, I began to stammer and appear extremely uncomfortable. As I looked toward her porch light (which was red), I confirmed to myself that I was confronted with a very delicate circumstance. By this time, she had revealed that she was not concerned about the openness of her robe. I could feel my companion’s hand on my back forcing me to engage with the woman who was now enjoying my discomfort. I presented as best I could a door approach. She laughingly declined and I considered the engagement completed. It was customary for us to offer to help an individual whenever we could. So, we would ask if there was anything we could do for someone as a final note to our door approach. I instinctively asked the woman, “Is there anything we can do for you today?” To this she reached forward, (her robe indelicately responding to the wind, placed her hand on my shoulder, and said, “Sonny, there's nothing you can do for me!” with that I quickly stammered out that we’ll ‘Wish you a good day’; and retreated to the gate with my companion. As we close the gate behind us, she'd already retreated behind her door and we stood there looking at each other wide eyed and chagrinned and what had just happened. We then broke into laughter at our own inexperience! It was to be a memorable experience. 

Ford’s 

Because we had taken over several of the investigators that missionaries prior to us had been working with, we continued to teach several families while tracting The Jungle. One of these families were the Fords. They were a black family which was uncustomary and required special attention during a particularly tense time in the world. The newspapers had been filled with racial unrest; and the church had been wrestling with the fact that the priesthood had not been extended to all men at that time. Those that had not been able to receive the priesthood were primarily black. And the church was definitely dealing with this issue; especially at BYU. The Fords were in their third discussion which was primarily devoted to the Word of Wisdom. We presented this discussion somewhat dubiously expecting that they would balk at having to live the Word of Wisdom. To our surprise, they were relatively accepting of this requirement and readily gave up their tea. At that time, due to racial unrest, we, as Missionaries, were not able to request a continuing discussion. Rather black investigators had to ask for additional instruction independent of ourselves. Gratefully, the Fords did exactly that and we continued to provide the 4^th, 5th and 6th discussions. Mr. Ford was accepting of the doctrine; but was somewhat dubious that a church would differentiate between a black man and a white man. We could certainly understand his reticence; but were impressed by his ability to except the Book of Mormon. As we approached the end of their discussions karma we were nervous about asking them regarding baptism. The entire family desire to be baptized except for Mr. Ford. To my amazement, he permitted his wife and children to join the church. I felt confident that when the priesthood was extended to all men he would be among those that would accept the gospel. Thus, the first people to be baptized by me in my mission were the Fords - blacks! (Eight years later in 1977, when the priesthood was extended to all men; I thought of Mr. Ford and his valiancy in admonishing his family's baptism.) 

Challenge 

Though I had gone on a mission, I realized very quickly that I did not have my own testimony. Rather I realized that I had gone on my mission dependent upon my parents’ testimony. I knew that such a circumstance would not satisfy my needs for two years; nor would I benefit unless I were to obtain my own testimony! I took it upon myself to reveal my circumstance to my fellow missionaries at a district meeting shortly after arriving in Southampton. They said they understood; but I doubt that my senior companion recognize the significance of this circumstance. I began almost immediately to exercise the same requirements that I stated for our investigators - read the Book of Mormon and pray. I did exactly that! I read and pondered over the Book of Mormon and prayed voraciously for a testimony of it. One day in the midst of this personal journey, I was tracting with Elder Hansen in The Jungle. We had entered a home that was rather large and divided into a number of individual flats. Each of the flats was occupied with an individual border and we proceeded to knock on each individual room door. Some of the doors had not been answered and we moved on to nearby flats. As we were engaged in discussion with an individual, a woman opened her door (though we had just knocked on it). I left elder Hansen and approached the woman with our approach and asked if we could take a few minutes to teach her. Elder Hansen had joined me by that time; and we entered the women's small flat to give her our first discussion. The flat was small and devoted to a very small kitchen at one end. There was almost no place to sit; and elder Hansen and I took a seat on her empty bed. We commenced to present to her our first discussion which was accompanied by pictures from a book entitled “meet the Mormons”. She seemed somewhat busy with morning preparations and somewhat distracted from listening to our discussion. Nevertheless we proceeded and elder Hansen completed his first part of the discussion and turned the book over to me. I presented what I was supposed to in the second part and concluded with my testimony. Recognizing that my testimony was in its very infancy; both elder Hansen and I new that I was somewhat disingenuous in my testimony. The woman was fiddling with dishes at her cupboard and immediately turned and faced me with blazing eyes and said, “you don't believe that” I encountered with yes I did and she continued to repeat “no you don't” inching closer to me as she repeated the challenge. As she approached within 3 feet of my face she stated, pointing to elder Hanson “he does! But you don't!” I repeated that I did and she ended up less than a foot from me - face to face and I to eye. I then finally relented and explained that I was not entirely sure and was in the process of obtaining a testimony for myself. Seemingly justified in challenging my testimony she stood erect and returned to her tidying up. This was to be a very direct and valuable challenge to my testimony and I knew that I could not carry on the work of the Lord without a testimony of my own. Though it was a deeply disturbing and terribly embarrassing moment, it was the challenge that I needed! 

Testimony

Though I'd had a number of experiences prior to the event here in recorded; I still didn't have what I consider to be a genuine testimony of my own! I'd been humbled; I'd been challenged; I'd been counseled; and I'd been encouraged; yet none of these experiences had given me the personal testimony I sought, desired, and believed was absolutely necessary for me to continue as a missionary. What virtually no one knew was that I had determined that I was going to have to go home if I didn't receive my own testimony by a given date. I don't remember that exact date; but I remember it was only a matter of days from the time that I experienced the woman's challenge. I did not want to incur the anxiety that my family would experience. Nor did I want to incur the shame and disdain I expected for myself if I chose to go home. Nevertheless, I knew that I would have to receive and the answer to prayer within a matter of days or I would have to notify my mission president that I would have to go home! I've been praying rather fervently for quite some time in order to receive an answer to my prayers but had not as yet received what I intellectually knew to be my own testimony. I was putting to the test the same thing that I was encouraging our investigators to do - simply read and pray. One evening after arriving home for our evening meal, I retired to our room well elder Hansen prepared our evening meal. I knew that I was within a day or so of having to notify president Childs of my decision to go home. Regardless of the consequences; I would have to abandon my missionary efforts and return. As I knelt down next to my bed to pray; I began to pour out my heart with what I now consider to be “real intent” as stated in the Book of Mormon. As I was praying, I felt something enter the room. looking about, I knew that whatever had entered the room was not visible. As I quickly contemplated the feeling that I was having (I knew the feeling to be real and not imagined) I recognized that what had entered the room (and filled it) was the spirit of our heavenly father! And I was grateful for it; nevertheless I knew that I would have to have a personal confirmation of this spirit. That is to say, I knew that I would need to have the spirit penetrate my soul in order to have a sufficient witness 2 satisfy my need for my own personal testimony. I continued to pray with the spirit surrounding me in the room. As I continued to pray (again with real intent) I experienced the spirit enter my soul and new for myself that the gospel of Jesus Christ as taught by his church was absolutely true! The entire experience required only a few minutes; and I expressed gratitude for the testimony that I now could not deny! I had had the spirit of our heavenly father penetrate my soul sufficiently so as to warrant a genuine testimony of my own. I was no longer dependent upon my parents testimony; rather (from that day forward) I've had my own. Clearly I've had experiences since then that have confirmed and expanded upon that testimony that I received in our digs in surely that evening. As I responded to they call to come to dinner, I sat down at the table while elder Hansen finished serving our spaghetti. I quietly announced the right now knew that the church was absolutely true. I expected him 2 rejoice in my having experienced a very significant event upstairs. To my dismay he simply mumbled, “it's about time!” sometimes it takes a spirituality in order to recognize significant events.