From 1987 to 2017 my focus had been primarily being a supplanted father and deeply offended husband. While many (even most) expected me to ‘get over’ divorce in a year or two; I realized that the dimensions of betrayal, deception, transgression, intrusion, immorality and exploitation had taken a rather complicated and comprehensive toll on my being. My recovery would take well over the next decade (~15 years) to function adequately and appropriately in social settings. While I could appear to be ‘alright’ among those who only knew me superficially; I knew that deep anxieties threatened to surface under imprudent circumstances. Hence, I’d remained marginally reclusive during those years.

Most of my available tenacity was engrossed in devoting what attention I could muster - to my children. I’d been saddled with California alimony and child support. Such had readily burdened me with such financial liability that there was very little available to meet my own needs (food, shelter, transportation, etc.). I knew that I would not be able to afford remarriage; and the financial obligations that would accompany such circumstances. In fact, though I endured the financial disparities and divergences over the next decade and a half; I endured them alone. I would meet the financial encumbrances imposed upon me by unjust California requirements - regardless of my own personal shortages. Several Christmas seasons, I’d worked two jobs in order to provide Christmas gifts. My children had their own difficulties; and would not be required by me to endure the inconsistencies that real life would invoke.  Hence, as the ups and downs of my life continued, I incurred $50,000 dollars in debt that they would never know about.

(I had endured an extended period of insufficient income to meet financial liabilities. It was during this time that I incurred most of the ‘credit card’ debt borne. Inasmuch as the shortfall was due to limited employment; I knew that I could obtain a reduced obligation through California Courts. I also knew that I could obtain needed funds were I to permit employment in distant states. But I knew that such distant employment would be severely detrimental to my children and myself. So, I remained near though underemployed. I was deeply aware that removal to a distant state would deprive my children of association with their father during their youthful years. I was pinned to the locale and its insufficiencies for many years. As an accomplished Computer Scientist, I’d deny the many opportunities I had from headhunters during those difficult years. Regardless of temporal difficulties, I knew that God had blessed me with children and that I was obliged to assure provision for their welfare – temporal and spiritual. [Regardless of the injustice imposed by California corrupt law!] Thus, I would suffer excessive regulation in order that I respect Eternal Law regarding my office of Father. I had not been made Father by my wife. God had blessed me to be a Father; and I would honor the blessings afforded me by Him!)

 Inasmuch as child support payments continued their strain until 2007 (20 years); my focus continued almost daily until the exertion imposed by my former Eternal companion was completed. Upon completion, my focus was then turned to repaying the debt I’d incurred amidst the foregoing 20 years - in order to avoid bankruptcy. Though private as I could make it; the circumstances of my overwhelming oppression could not be entirely kept from those who understood my subjugation. As these long-endured restraints began to lift from my shoulders; I was then able to bring to focus the ordinary challenges associated with my aging body and ending career. It was in this setting that I embarked on attempting to address an impending retirement and seriously reduced income. My endeavors became more critical as I had very little financial vitality to call upon. Inasmuch as an unintended Cervical Radiculopathy took place amidst these circumstances; and inasmuch as I was confined for many weeks under 24-hour pain-relieving drugs to a living room chair (see Intervention) - my circumstance became even more tenuous and threatening. As the operation on my spine proved moderately successful (permanent numbness has invaded in my right hand), I began to contemplate my impending situation more frequently. Amidst recovery walks and recuperative work hours, I continued to search for a resolution to my approaching needs for preservation. These concerns occupied my personal well-being, as I attended our reunion in Park City.

As I began to anticipate how I would care for myself, I began to frequently contemplate what I would do. I knew I would not be able to obtain any kind of dwelling in California. (It was just too expensive.) Deciding to utilize whatever means I could, I turned to searching the internet (which I had access to at work). I was fairly certain that my endeavors to keep my financial affairs silent had left me pretty much alone to formulate a plan for my upcoming needs. Having searched for well over a year by this time, I had found virtually nothing that met my financial circumstances and was adequate to my temporal needs. Staring such a dilemma in the face, I decided that I would work until I was 70 years old. Such an extension would permit an extended search; and afford me a more substantial retirement income – which I was certain I would be fully dependent upon. I had developed a superb work record in the company I worked for -Charter Communications. And therefore, was not particularly concerned with circumstances surrounding work. Nevertheless, I was very aware that I would soon have to engage preparations actively and embrace my aging circumstances. Though I’d been encumbered for decades with the anxiety of financial woes; I was nevertheless apprehensive concerning my own future. As I continued my search, I discovered that I could use an internet tool to ascertain low costing available properties across a wide geographical area. Using this tool, I searched throughout the entire United States to find a suitable option. After months of investigation, I surmised that there was very little that was available to me. I’d have to keep an eye out for a property that might come along. Continuing my search, I finally encompassed entire states to examine potential options. Amidst this on-going search, I finally discovered a small area localized to a region above Rock Springs, Wyoming. Perusing this localized area near Pinedale, Wyoming; I began to investigate individual properties available in that area. There were a few properties that might be sufficiently low in price - yet displaying potential for me and my circumstances. Parenthetically, as I reviewed my options; I found myself silently asking, “Why had I never considered Wyoming as a serious option for myself!” Being pretty financially destitute, I pressed forward examining in detail each of ~20 homes and/or properties available in the outskirt community of Boulder, Wyoming (about 10 miles from the town of Pinedale. [~ 2000 residents]). I had never been to that locale; and found the opportunities somewhat alluring as a possibility to find a place where I might be able to live!

Amidst these searches, a reunion of siblings was arranged.  My brothers and sister (along with their spouses) decided upon an event gathering us all together in a rental organized by younger brother – Reed. We were to assemble in a condominium in Park City, Utah in for Labor Day Weekend of that year - for a couple of days together. Virtually everyone was in attendance, and we enjoyed reunified relationships accompanying our celebrations. We shopped a few hours downtown Park City; and then reunited at the Swiss Days celebration in nearby Midway, Utah. Later the next day we would join with grandchildren (and families) at a park for a few hours together. Following the festivities of our reunion, I continued my stay at Jean’s (Jay’s widow) in Lindon. There I contemplated my anticipated visit to Boulder, Wyoming during the coming weekend.  Recognizing that I had already travelled most of the way toward Boulder; and was a mere 4-hour drive distant; I had decided to capitalize on my location and visit the Boulder area while in Utah. I would be able to physically visit the properties I’d previously only observed via the internet. Though I had no real intention of purchasing; I considered the drive worthwhile; and a potential scouting opportunity that might not arise again. (Prior to my visit, I’d done considerable ‘homework’ and selected a number (~20) of properties to consider. I’d also printed information about each property and included them in a binder for consideration as I visited the area.) The following Saturday morning, I travelled to Boulder (arriving about noon). I knew that I had but ~4 hours to peruse the area and would then have to travel back to Linden.

(As I later took a second trip to the area in order to see my realtor and property, I took a brief rest at an onramp near Kemmerer, Wyoming; I observed a Pronghorn Antelope simply walking past the passenger side of my car. Inasmuch as I’d never observed an antelope so close (~1 foot from my passenger door); and inasmuch as this antelope did not appear the slightest concern for my presence (which was easily observable through the windows); I was deeply impressed and strongly reminded that I was now amidst the wild outdoors of Wyoming. I then continued my journey to realtor in Big Piney and then on to Boulder.)

My initial visit to Boulder took place the Saturday following our Park City Reunion. I knew my schedule that week afforded me a 4-hour morning trek to Boulder (via Rock Springs; a 4-hour perusal of properties; and a 4-hour trek back to Linden. I’d then leave Jean’s the following (Sunday) morning for my 12-hour trek to Fontana. I’d then resume work the following (Monday) morning.

As I arrived in Boulder (~noon), I turned onto Meadowlark Lane from the highway (191) I’d followed from Rock Springs. Driving along the entrance dirt road, I soon began to observe some of the properties I’d seen on the internet. Proceeding along most of the dirt roads facing the properties; I was able to examine for myself virtually all of the properties I’d intended to inspect. I never left my Ford Escape. I was able to see all I needed to see from the driver’s seat of my car. Inasmuch as I wanted to be sure; I took a number of pictures associated with the properties. In my ‘homework’ I’d learned that virtually all of the lots examined were .9 acre lots. Traveling about this ‘subdivision’, I realized that the entire community was seriously remote – as I would say – ‘in the middle of nowhere’. Nevertheless, most of the homes appeared well built and comfortably livable. Coming from ‘postage stamp’ lots of southern California, I was particularly enamored with the availability of 1 acre lots.

At one point, as I was taking multiple pictures of an available lot; when a SUV drove up directly behind my vehicle. Inasmuch as I knew I was not blocking the road I took little notice (thinking the occupant would simply drive around me). I continued to take pictures of the vacant lot. Suddenly I became aware of an irate driver in the SUV behind me. The woman appeared to be rather agitated; pointing at me; and waving her arms about.  I heard nothing inasmuch as the windows of both vehicles were closed. I thought to myself, “What have I done?” Following a minute or so, a woman exited a nearby home and asked what I was doing. I explained my intent to simply take pictures of available properties; and asked what I’d done! The woman calmly stated she’d talk with the woman behind me. I watched and waited. Eventually the SUV driver settled and quickly drove around my vehicle. While this exchange had taken place, a man who’d been caring for his yard adjacent to the lot I was photographing; came across the dirt road to my vehicle. He asked what was taking place; and I explained myself. By this time, the agitated woman had left the scene; and the man and local woman conversed briefly. Convinced that the event had been a misunderstanding, the man approached my driver’s side window; as the woman returned to her home. He then explained that some in the neighborhood had observed adults taking pictures of their children. Thinking I had been one of these unidentified photographers, the SUV woman was considerably agitated with my presence and behavior. With the incident resolved, the man immediately engaged with me about my involvement in attempting to locate a property I might be able to acquire. He then explained that he was involved in flipping properties that he considered economically profitable. In fact, he was presently improving the property I’d observed him at! He explained that the endeavor had been reasonably profitable for him; and was how he made his living. As I conversed with him, I discerned that I’d discovered a valuable resource for my endeavor in Boulder. As we chatted further; he recommended that I choose existing homes over mere lots. He reasoned that building on a lot incurred unforeseen expenses – such as lot preparation, permits, septic tanks, etc. I listened and found his reasoning to be sound. I thanked him for his advice and resumed my perusal. However, my focus had been altered to seriously consider existing homes! I’d been previously focused on lots; rather than existing dwellings. My binder included several existing homes; and I commenced to study these properties more seriously.

As I continued my examination, (now concentrating on homes) I still remained in my car (I’d made no` arrangements to have a realtor show me homes). As I drove past these homes (there were about 5), I simply took pictures and reviewed my notes. Shortly following my interaction with my happenstance advisor, I came upon an empty dwelling atop the primary plateau in the subdivision. Other homes had been nestled into carved out pads amidst sloping hills. Some had also been in extensive ‘pads’ at the foot of the primary plateau. The particular dwelling I was examining was on a fairly rare flat plateau top. It was not particularly large. It had a small cement driveway which I drove onto. I then exited my vehicle and walked entirely around the house; peering into windows to discover most (if not all) of the carpeting had been removed. While the home’s fixtures remained intact; the floors were literally bare. My vehicle was parked on the cement pad leading into what appeared to be a double garage. A review of my printed notes revealed that the asking prices for the abandoned property was $109,000. Given that I was used to California dwellings costing twice that amount on considerably less land; I was impressed; though doubtful that I could obtain such a home. I was fairly confident that the property had been sold or that an offer was pending. Somewhat disheartened at having to bypass such an opportunity (as I saw it), I drove across the dirt road to engage a man and woman I’d observed in their yard. I’d observed them observing me walking the property. Introducing myself and querying about the dwelling across the street; the man introduced himself as Nick and his wife as Nicole. He then confirmed that the house was for sale and had been empty for several months. Following brief conversation, I thanked him and left. I was mildly hopeful regarding the property; but considered such a find unlikely to be available to me!  Inasmuch as the time to leave was drawing near, I quickly observed a few other homes. Regardless of other opportunities, I found myself wishing (against hope) that the only home I’d walked around would’ve been available. Having endured numerous disappointments during the prior decades; I assigned such hopes to likely disappointments; and made my way to the highway entrance of the subdivision. A single retail outlet occupied a significant area directly opposite the subdivision’s entryway (Bomgaars).

The place where I first heard the 'voice'.

As I turned onto the highway toward Rock Springs, I received a distinctly observable impression – the voice one feels (rather than hears)! Addressing me by my 1^st name (a delightful observation that I was genuinely known personally), I detected an impression that invoked immediate and conscious attention. It stated in clear terms a phrase I’d clearly not expected! It said, “You’re gonna have to trust me!” Being mere feet beyond my turn onto the highway; and, of course being aware that I was alone, I became distinctly cognizant that I was being addressed by an invisible (yet distinctly present) entity. Having such experience before (only infrequently); I intently focused my attention to the ‘voice’. I was only a couple of hundred yards down the highway by now. Being somewhat untenable as a personality, I consciously and vocally replied (in my car) that, “I have trust issues, you know!” As if to remind deified conversants regarding my situation. My reply was certainly challenging and somewhat confrontational! (In 20-20 hindsight, I’m not particularly proud of my immediate response!) As if expected, I was immediately confronted with an identical response, “You’re gonna have to trust me!” But accompanying this communique was a very deeply pleasant and profoundly understanding, compassionate influence! For the next several miles, I continued my gradually subsiding opposition to (what I considered) a difficult requirement. I was thereafter cognizant of a gentle, kindly admonition, “You’re gonna have to trust me!” For the next 100 miles, I carried on a weakening protestation of my flagging ability to TRUST. Repeatedly, only less frequently, I was lovingly reminded of my admonition to TRUST.  The words of the invisible influence never altered; but the feeling of love, understanding and comfort grew as the time and miles passed. As I began to approach Rock Springs, I began to comprehend that my little Ford Escape was virtually filled with an influence that was kind, gentle, compassionate and loving. As if amidst an invisible cloud, I drove along enveloped in loving influence that my still contentious (though softening) soul resisted. About 5 miles outside Rock Springs is an intersection where Highway 191 crosses a railroad,  I finally relented and pronounced (verbally outload) that I would trust! I certainly was not aware of anything in particular that I was to trust. Nor was I even anticipating any forthcoming circumstance! I merely stated that I would trust the influence that indicated a need to do so. Though what, I knew not!

Place where I agreed to Trust.

The remaining 3 hours of my trek to Lindon was uneventful; and I was no longer admonished (nor aware of) the influence that accompanied me the 100 miles to Rock Springs. Arriving late at Jean’s (where I was staying), I conversed with Jean regarding the circumstances of my visit to Boulder. I then excused myself to gain a needed night’s rest prior to my long trek home to Fontana. The next morning, I packed early, enjoyed a pleasant breakfast Jean had prepared for me, and took my leave to travel the ~12 hours home. The trek home, though long and tiresome, took the expected time; and I arrived about dusk. I unloaded; prepared to resume work the next morning; and retired for a needed night’s rest. Upon arrival at work the next morning, I greeted my co-workers and settled into my cubicle; resuming the work I’d left the week prior to my Utah trip. I’d been at work for about an hour when our Human Resources Director (whom I knew well) approached me at my cubicle; and requested that I join her in her office (a few steps away). As I followed, I wondered to myself ‘What had I done? I’d been gone for a week.’. She invited me to be seated. She then informed me that I was to be terminated! Shocked at such a life altering announcement; I was pretty much speechless as she explained that the Call Center was engaging a fairly extensive alteration of administrative personnel; and that a few others were to be terminated at the same time. A physical reconstruction of the administrative area was even to accompany the terminations. As she expressed her distress regarding her inability to avoid such drastic measures; my mind raced with my own circumstances and what courses I could take to oppose such actions. At 67 years old, I knew that I’d be unable to obtain employment. Thus, I knew that I was being handed a dreadfully serious situation. Knowing that I had a spotless record; and that there was absolutely no reason to terminate me; I reasoned that I was going to sue the company and receive redress for what I considered a harsh, cruel infraction! I’d known for some time that various companies in the ‘Cable Industry’ were fundamentally corrupt. Nevertheless, I’d adopted a ‘live & let live’ ideology for the preceding 17 years as I endured truly difficult personal devastation(s). As the Director concluded her announcement, I excused myself without further comment; and returned to my cubicle to absorb the momentous news. As I sat in stoic reflection; I was suddenly reminded of the influence that had accompanied me to Rock Springs just the day before yesterday! I was further reminded of the distinctness and content of the repeated message, “You’re gonna have to trust me!” Now. recognizing my need to trust in no uncertain terms; I commenced immediately to respond to an impending layoff - in light of that which I’d come to understand the day before yesterday. I was very impressed that I could not have known the devastating news that awaited me just hours later as I drove from Boulder to Rock springs during the previous Saturday afternoon! Within an hour of notification, I was reviewing notes and impressions of my recent Boulder trip. I’d hoped that I might acquire the property I’d walked around and felt mildly impressed to pursue. Without delay, I discovered the realtor responsible for the property and called her. She greeted me cordially as I identified myself and my previous visit to Boulder - just days earlier. She informed me that the property had been foreclosed; and had progressed such that it was now subject to bid. I was delighted to discover the property was still available. I inquired as to what I should do and she recommended I submit a bid. Inasmuch as I knew nothing about such things; she indicated she’d submit the bid for me. (Though circumstances had altered drastically in the preceding 2-3 hours, I was nevertheless very nervous at engaging such a momentous endeavor. Regardless, I kept reminding myself of my prompting to trust.) I informed my realtor I had no idea what to bid and suggested bidding the asking price; but stated I’d follow her lead – she being the professional. I stated, I’d support her recommendation. To this she advised against my proposed bid. She then recommended a bid rather low - $80,000. I stated I thought the bid was very low (considering the asking price) and she countered with, “What can they do but deny our bid!” I readily recognized her wisdom and agreed. She said she’d submit the bid that day. I waited anxiously! The following afternoon, she phoned me to report that the bid had been denied – which was not a shock to either of us! She informed me that the federal holder of the mortgage could not accept the bid inasmuch as they’d actually lose money – which was prohibited. But in the same response, they stated that they could not accept a bid beneath $99,700. We both recognized this as a bid well below the asking price; and the lowest bid acceptable. We agreed that we should submit a follow-up bid for the price indicated - $99.700. She said she’d submit the bid that day. I again waited anxiously as preparations for termination swirled about me and my affected co-workers. She called back the next day to indicate that the bid had been accepted. I quietly recognized that in a matter of a few days since I’d walked the property and experienced the divine influence, I had purchased a home (my desired home) for myself (a development I’d only hoped for previously) and confirmed to my own soul that I’d been closely watched over during an otherwise stressful occurrence.

I learned a few days later that our last day was about 5 weeks away (giving us time to prepare); and that the company intended to give us a significant severance pay. Inasmuch as I’d worked for the company for so long, my severance worked out to encompass a full year following my termination. A benefit I was extremely grateful to accept. I quickly arranged to meet with my local realtor and walkthrough the home I’d purchased. She was most cooperative. Because much of this upheaval had occurred in the beginning of October 2017, we met toward late October, toured the home and property. A month later as I painted the home, I finalized the paperwork and legal recordings. I was now a home owner and had to prepare to relocate. Realizing some care would be needed prior to my occupancy, I arranged to spend the Thanksgiving weekend painting the inside of the home prior to moving in. Arriving for the Thanksgiving weekend, I spent several days painting virtually all of the home’s rooms and prepping the floors for carpet installation.

Observing my car and activity, my new neighbors introduced themselves to me and invited me to share their Thanksgiving dinner with them. Brian, a skilled chef, and his roommate David had me in their home for Thanksgiving dinner; and I thoroughly enjoyed their kind hospitality. The last day that I was to paint, I was painting the master bathroom when I received an unexpected call from my son, Bret. Following our brief greetings, Bret informed me that he’d just been called to the bishopric of his ward and would be ordained a High Priest that coming Sunday. He then requested that I attend and perform the ordination. I expressed thoughtful congratulations; and was honored with the opportunity to perform such an ordinance. I explained my circumstance and stated that I’d depart the following morning (Friday) for the 2-day trip to Emporia, Kansas. He thanked me and our conversation ended. I recognized that I’d have to hurry my final painting in order to alter my plans to join with his family. Any plans I’d anticipated were now discarded for a most significant and seriously significant trip. (*See Emporia for that trip)

Following the trip to Kansas, I made my way home (via I 40, i.e. Oklahoma, Texas, Arizona, California) to Fontana. There I’d experience the weeks needed to prepare for my relocation to Wyoming.

My acquisition of a needed and subsequent relocation to Wyoming had just been a mere dream. Following my establishment in Wyoming, I’ve never enjoyed such contentment and personal happiness. I tell friends that the only way to remove me from Wyoming now is in a body bag!

I remain convinced that I was contacted and directed by Divine Influence on a lonely road in Wyoming!