Conducted

Upon Mary’s final decree of civil divorce on September 1, 1987; I left our home at 1390 Granada Ave, Corona, California. I had lived there alone for the previous year in hopes that Mary might reconsider her choice of separation and relocation of our family to Yuma, Arizona where her parents lived. She assured that was not to be! While this had been a pleasant home where three of our children (Bret, Paul, Lara) were born; it had become a deeply devastating place where nefarious events had been entertained and where actual separation had taken place. Now, as Mary’s final divorce decree was taking place, I had previously sold the dwelling (extending to Mary a great deal of money) and was to relocate myself that day as a sole survivor to an apartment I’d contracted in nearby Ontario, California. It was a defining day in the lives of many members of our family. And I was grimly despondent; 

though captivated by the physical requirements and logistics of moving that very day. That evening in my new apartment surrounded my moving boxes and silence, I was to have my most despondent moment. Gratefully, the spirit of God influenced me and I responded with a night’s rest atop an unmade bed. Life would continue to be challenging as threatening’s continued thereafter.

I commenced my new life by unpacking and arranging my belongings in my new apartment at 551 E. Riverside Dr, #70, Ontario, California in the San Remo Apartment complex. At first, the new dwelling was quiet and solitary. Yet, I knew I’d need to continue with a steadfast countenance providing perseverance and promise to my young children. Inasmuch as I’d found myself distanced from my children by a four-hour drive to Yuma; and inasmuch as I’d need to continue to provide for their sustenance (regardless of the fairness of the circumstance I found myself in); I continued to work daily to support my family monetarily. Additionally, I was able to muster the courage and fortitude to drive the four hours to Yuma on Friday nights averaging about 2 weekends a month.

 (I did not know how long I’d be able to sustain a full work week and an extensive weekend with my children. I did know that it took a great deal out of me. I’d pretty much cry the full four hours to Yuma. Put on a brave face for the Friday night, Saturday, and half Sunday I was there. And then upon saying goodbye following church; I’d drive Sunday Afternoon; crying the four hours back to my home to resume work the next morning. It was a truly difficult and trying time in my life. These difficulties were compounded by the genuinely devious and fraudulent betrayal I was endeavoring to endure. The dastardly behavior of my best friend and eternal companion dramatically amplified the need to wear a composed demeanor to shield my children. [Parenthetically, it even now hurts deeply to even write these things regardless of decades passing.])

I would continue to be as supportive as I could from an emotional and geographical distance (imposed by my now divorced and estranged wife). I remember my first attendance at my new Ontario 3^rd Ward. Walking across at the back of the congregation and taking a seat along the back bench; I was fully cognizant that members of the congregation could not know of the devastating months and years that had led me to the sacrament meeting I was now attending. I only knew that I was fully dependent upon my Father in Heaven and Savior to provide the spiritual courage I was now required to have! A short while later; I became aware that Mary was resuming her relationship with Ron Curl. I’d also learned that Ron had left his family of four children and was nearing the finalization of his chosen divorce from his wife, Kay. Thus, I knew that they would soon form a union requiring others to conform to their combined, conspiratorial wills. I remember that I called and talked with Michael on the day of his mother’s remarriage; and commiserated with him as he expressed his own unease with the development. I learned shortly later that Michael had determined that he would move in with his grandparents there in Yuma. I surmised that he could not bring himself to countenance that which was being required of him.  Michael was amidst his junior year in high school and exercised his own will to disregard his new parental union. I would continue to call him from time to time; but found my appearance at his ‘foster’ home to be difficult. (I also found appearance at Mary’s home [and thereby countenancing the profane union they had imposed] to be beyond my capacity; and thus, remained aloof.)

I am reminded that Michael once confided that he found life with his grandmother most difficult; and that on a few occasions he found interaction with her so trying that he would retire to his bedroom and scream into his pillow in order to vent his anxieties. I was empathetic to my son’s circumstance; but found myself bound by legal and circumstantial limits unable to help. As his school year approached its end, Michael approached me (as he’d often done before) to live with me. I’d previously explained that I lived a rather spartan life that would undoubtedly be difficult for him; and that he needed the closeness of his siblings as much as they needed him; but now I could not bring myself to require my eldest to endure such an afront to his sensibilities of righteousness. Therefore, I agreed to his proposal and announced that I would come to get him in a week or so. Arranging with my Elder’s Quorum President to borrow his small truck, I arrived in Yuma shortly thereafter and Michael’s life with his father would commence with our journey to our home in the apartment in Ontario. Approaching my home, I took the opportunity to explain to Michael the reality of things. I (as gently as possible) explained that I could not permit my own well-being to be placed at risk. I had a responsibility to all my children. Certainly, to himself; but to all my children whether present or not. Thus, I explained that if he were to somehow involve himself in something that might somehow incur risk for my well-being; I’d have to care for myself in order to support my other children who were just as warranting my support as himself. I then explained that if he were somehow unjustly accused; I would ‘go to the mat’ for him. He deserved nothing less. I also explained to him that his decision to come and live with me was a ‘one way’ street; that there was no ‘going back’ on his decision. To these requirements he concurred; and we traveled further quietly. A few minutes later he voiced a ‘whoa’; and I concurred with him by saying that his (and my) decisions were serious and not to be trifled with. Shortly later, we’d arrive at my apartment and we’d commence living together. I’d set up a single bed I constructed for him as a toddler. It was in the second bedroom which had operated as an office also. He arranged his things as best he could and we settled in for the night.

Unknown to Michael, between the time that I’d agreed to have him come and live with me and bringing him home; I was laid off from my 10+ year stable employment at Hughes Aircraft Company. Thus, as we ventured together toward the future; I was anxious as to how to provide for my children who were absent; but also, for him and myself. My drive home with him had been anxiety filled as I faced the uncertainty of providing; and how a different job with different responsibilities would affect my 15-year-old traumatized son. I knew I was once again reliant upon my Heavenly Father and Savior to fulfill my fatherly duties – now enforced by legal decree with serious repercussions. Needless to say; I was anxiety ridden and fearful of potentialities which I did not want to happen.

Following a couple of weeks living together, it became apparent that sharing an office with me would be unsatisfactory for a 15-year-old son. So, I nonchalantly picked up a rental pamphlet leaving a grocery store not even considering relocating seriously. But a Saturday morning a week or two later; I awoke with the distinct impression that we were to obtain a more suitable place in which to live. Surprised by the clarity of purpose I felt; I simply entered Michael’s bedroom where he was sleeping and aroused him from slumber. I then announced that we were going to look for another place live. Watching his response; I detected that he might’ve thought to himself – “oh no, I’ve somehow traded one crazy parent for another”. Had I been in his shoes; I’d have probably thought so to. But I’d been influenced and was not going to consider otherwise. We both got dressed and set about to consider out options. I explained that I’d acquired some literature; and that would be a good place to start.

Prior to presenting our activities further; I should explain that for many months previously, I’d been serving in the Ontario Stake Presidency as their Executive Secretary. When confronted by the Stake President as he extended the call to me; I explained that I’d only be able to be present about 2 of every 4 Sundays in a month. I explained that I was seeing my children in Yuma about that much; and I intended to maintain such a schedule and support. Given my circumstances, I explained that my service would be less than full support due to my divided loyalties. The Stake President said that he recognized my circumstances and wanted to proceed with my call regardless. With that recognition I accepted the call and was ordained a High Priest by my father. Thus, any endeavor to relocate incurred my desire to remain steadfast to my calling; and remain within the boundaries of the Ontario Stake. I don’t remember explaining such to Michael amidst our endeavor; but am fairly confident he was aware of the stipulation.

Shortly after waking, we found ourselves parked outside an apartment complex on Euclid Ave. Examining the pamphlet and the outward appearance, I said it looked as if the apartments were identical to those we were in; and we rejected them directly. Aware of a complex nearby; I suggested we check them out. We drove to the complex and were parking when a women approached our vehicle asking if we were looking for a place. Answering yes; she showed us an empty apartment. While it was pleasant; it did not seem to meet our needs and after reviewing together; we rejected it within the privacy of our car. As we were slowly leaving the parking lot; I stopped the car and stated to Michael: “I don’t really know how to go about doing this! I really think we need help (referring to spiritual help) to conduct this effort. Would it be alright if we prayed about this?” To this Michael agreed and we bowed our heads - there in the middle of the parking lot. As mouthpiece of our prayer, I requested assistance to conduct our endeavor. Raising our heads; we looked at each other and proceeded. What I may have alluded to (I’m not entirely sure), is that in the midst of that prayer I’d envisioned the strip of community bounded by Euclid Ave, the 60 Freeway and Riverside Drive all the way until it concluded near Hamner Avenue. I didn’t know what to think of such a ‘mental picture’; but in the absence of anything else; we commenced near Euclid and proceeded toward Hamner. Not knowing what else to do, I explained to Michael that we’d drive throughout the various subdivisions and ‘feel’ our way along. Recognizing that such a process had only been experienced by me once during my mission (Effingham); and recognizing that such a ‘spiritually’ bound process may have been foreign to Michael’s sensitivities; I once again thought that my son may have considered that he’d come to live with his ‘kooky’ father. As we drove throughout the communities; I’d stop; and Michael and I would compare impressions. While we’d not necessarily found any of the communities to be detrimental; we’d not received any impressions that we should be in any place - either. We’d then proceed to the next subdivision and perform the same process there. About halfway along the ‘mental picture’, the Whispering Lakes Golf Course intercepted our pursuit, and we bypassed it to examine the subdivisions on either side of Archibald Ave. As drove about these areas, we stated that the area seemed more amenable to our sensitivities; nevertheless, we did not seem ‘compelled’ to peruse the area further. Recognizing that our Stake President lived in the area; I worried that such knowledge may have influenced me unduly. Furthermore, the only subdivision remaining in the area in my ‘mental picture’ was that entitled ‘Creekside’. My impression of the subdivision was that it was an exalted community that would likely exceed our financial ability. I was almost persuaded (by own bias) to forego such an examination. But I determined that for completeness’s sake we should continue our process within Creekside.

I should interject some ancillary information that bears an influence on the account herein. Several months prior to our experience; I’d been assigned by our Stake Presidency to examine the priesthood breakdown of forming a new ward within the Stake. In combination with two High Councilors (Richard Trask and John Davey) we were assigned to carefully scrutinize whether two separate wards could be adequately served should the existing ward be split in anticipation of inhabiting an LDS church that was in the process of being completed on a lot at the entrance to the Creekside subdivision. At the time, I was merely fulfilling a priesthood assignment; and had never even seen the location. As we brethren proceeded; I teased them both (knowing I [as a single man] could not serve as a Bishop); and that either of them (living within the Creekside community) could (and would) be called as the bishop - if the ward were brought to pass. They both disregarded my teasing and we eventually concluded our assignment with a breakdown that the existing and new ‘Creekside’ ward could be adequately served by the existing priesthood population. Several weeks later, it was announced that the Creekside Ward would be formed and that Richard Trask would be the first Bishop and that John Davey would be his 1^st Councilor. Inasmuch as I attended High Council meetings; I was in attendance at the announcement and the impending release of Richard Trask and John Davey from the High Council. As we all hugged these brethren goodbye; I mentioned to Richard that I might soon be relocating. To this he replied “I see you living by a creek”. At the moment, I considered such a comment to be jocularity and readily forgot it. Nevertheless, I was taken back by the force that such a happenstance comment could leave in my soul at the time.

As the picture below identifies; we drove (directly – following numerous turns and diversions) to the home we would eventually rent at 2752 Moose Creek Lane. Such an experience was anxiety ridden - as it occurred. Yet it was inspiring as its conclusion became apparent. Discovering that a rental sign held announcements regarding the property; I asked Michael to retrieve an announcement that we could examine. As he retrieved the announcement; I perceived that there were only two left and I requested that he retrieve both of them. Upon reviewing the announcement’s content, we both exited the vehicle to inspect the property further. Though protected by a high fence, we found it unlocked and inspected the entire property through windows and glass doors. As we did so, I commented to Michael that I thought we’d found a viable property. To this he replied, “I think we’ve found our new home!” As we returned to our vehicle and slowly drove back the way we’d come; we crossed a small bridge that allow traversal of the creek bed that lay directly behind the property we were seriously considering. It was then that I was ‘reminded’ of the comment Richard Trask had made about me ‘living by a creek’. I would live there for ~16 years - the longest period I’d ever experienced in a single place in my life!

As one reads this story, they can’t help but get involved in observing the developments as they proceeded from one experience to another. Yet, it is especially valuable to step back and examine the larger picture regarding the entire experience. It is in the overall perspective that a miracle becomes observable.

• The morning of a single day is influenced as I awaken with no preset anticipation of what would occur that day. Rather, the unexpected influence motivated myself and I announced our day’s activity to Michael immediately upon his awakening. Such a dramatic development was undoubtedly met with doubt and alarm – not only from Michael; but to a degree by myself!
• Not knowing where to start; we both commenced by following the ‘standard’ approach by referencing (and following) a commercial publication. It produced no resolution; except to recognize that such an approach was not likely to produce the results we’d hoped for. A distinctly unique approach would be necessary!
• An unusual occurrence shifted our endeavor to apply an unusual approach. A quick and heartfelt prayer set the two of us on a path that would likely have never taken place. The ‘mental picture’ that took place amidst my prayer was real and significant. Inasmuch as the ‘vision’ was imparted using established ‘map oriented’ perspective; it led us to follow such ‘direction’ without uncommon nor unfamiliar means.
• Though given direction, faith was absolutely and distinctively necessary in order to bring about a satisfactory resolution. It took faith and perseverance to proceed through each community recognizing that such an endeavor could easily result in foolishness and a loss of faith in oneself and from one’s son! Faith to proceed despite unfamiliar circumstances; process; and potential; was a distinctly present reality as we progressed toward an ignominious or inspired result at virtually our last opportunity to obey the ‘vision’ I’d received only hours earlier amidst confusion and doubt.
• As shown, the likelihood of being overwhelmed with too many alternatives would very likely have taken places as our faith was beginning to wane. Not recognizing prior to its occurrence; the convoluted layout of Creekside would’ve thwarted our previously ‘adopted’ means of inspiration. Prior subdivisions had been lain out in observably ‘standard’ streets and were easily traversed permitting our focus of ‘feeling’ our way along. Attention to inspirational ‘feelings’ was not fettered by obstructing street confusion.
• In what was to be the final and crowning event of that day; we were ‘led’ to make the correct (there were many alternatives) turns at just the right intersections to traverse an otherwise overwhelming circumstance; arriving at the virtually only outwardly observable announcement of an available rental. At first glance, it appeared to be an announcement of the sale of the property. Yet, as we continued, it was distinctly for rental – which was our need!
• Inasmuch as the property was located within a perceived upscale community; I’d considered its asking cost was beyond our price range. Yet, it’s rental price was clearly identified on the available flyer – an unstated requirement that again dovetailed with our needs.
• The property had demonstrated that there was considerable interest amongst competitors. With only two announcements (of what would’ve been dozens) still available; our arrival as its virtually most recent (and would be its last) investigator was both timely and expedient. Such timeliness acknowledges the expediency of our endeavor invoked at our awakening that day; and our expediency of following ‘inspired direction’ throughout that day. Not knowing the outcome of that endeavor throughout its effort; we’d been spiritually led to acquire that which we needed – not only to address our immediate needs; but 16 years of needs to come!